How to Build Your Online Audience (Using Dating Advice)

Do you know how to build your online audience?

It’s no easy task and it takes time.

You might feel frustrated because you don’t know what to believe or try first.

You might not know what kind of content attracts readers or how to create it. 

There are too many ways to make it happen and focusing on just one is difficult, but if you want to build your online audience, there are a few things to consider as your reach out. 

Learning this doesn't have to be difficult or boring. I've broken it down into some key points that you might find more relatable. 

Want to know how to build your online audience using dating advice? 


Tease, but don’t give it away

Don’t give it away on the first date.

If you ask for a sale or tell someone the answer right away, then they won’t stay.

They might think it’s cool at first, but quickly they’ll find out how much you sell and choose to ignore you.

Keep it simple.

People like mystery. We’re curious.

We want the chase (unless it becomes too complicated).

Remember this when you’re…

Writing email subject lines

Writing blog post titles

Sharing something on social

Hitting on someone  - I mean really, would you date someone who told you on the first date that they had no confidence in themselves, wished they were skinnier, and totally failed at their last relationship because they cheated on their significant other.


Umm no.

The same applies with your content. Don’t tell them everything up front.

Build trust. Give it away little by little.

Oversharing scares people.


Solution: Give value, ask for an email address. Provide the value.

Plus, figure out how much you’re going to share, when it’s okay in your journey together to share it, and if it relates to your topic at the time.


You don’t need to talk about your magnificent weightloss journey if your niche is painting with watercolors.

Oversharing about your relationship when you’re working with a client is not cool.

Don’t tell your new email subscriber that you want their money 3 emails in. Not cool dude.


Don’t come on too strong

Ever heard the saying, “Saturate them with sales”?

Far too many companies do it.

They turn their email list - a hard earned stack of names who trusted you - into their own personal version of cold-calling.

And people hate that shit - myself included.

Seriously, how does anyone think it’s okay to constant ask people to buy your product, without providing value to them first?

Show them a little and you’ll get a lot.

Coming on too strong sketches people out - then you land in spam.


Solution: Provide value, sprinkle sales.

Your first few emails, blog posts, social content and anything else you share should be so frickin epic that people want to hear from you.

If they jive with your style, then they’ll buy.

If not, that’s cool too. They’re not your people.

Build that connection with your audience who thought you were interesting enough to give their email to.

Wow them by giving something to them for free that solves a problem, build trust and then softly sell to them.


Go beyond your regular scene

Staying in one place doesn’t help you grow.

Likewise it won’t grow your audience either.

If you’re looking in one spot, then you’re missing out on a TON of possibilities.

Check different places online and in person where your ideal audience might hang out.

Think about where your audience would spent their time at and follow them there. Check out some of the things they’re posting about and help out when you can. This is a great way to show value.


Solution: Think outside the box.

Look at communities on Facebook, Youtube, other blogs, Twitter chats, Reddit threads, podcasts, legitimate websites, Pinterest groups, meetups, paid memberships, Periscope, and wherever else people hang out.

Ask questions. Get a conversation started.


Let your friends set you up

The Universe won’t know that you’re looking to expand if you don’t let it know, which means let your friends and family know. Reach out to email contacts, and ask friends in your niche if they know where you can meet people when it come to your topic.

Ask friends and family if they know anyone who would be interested

Ask your fellow niche-friends if they know anywhere that’s good, anyone who’s interested, or if they can pass your info along.


Solution: All it takes is an email.

Look at your contacts and reach out with a bit of information regarding your topic. Tell them that you’re starting a site or project where you’re sharing information about X, and ask them to share your info if they know of anyone who might find it helpful.

Don’t be spammy by any means, but you can leverage the contacts you have and be super valuable at the same time.


Focus on first impressions

How do you come off to people?

Are you in their face? Too much of a show-off?

Maybe you share way too much of your life and not enough value about your topic.

There’s a line between “be yourself” and oversharing.

Be authentic, yes, but authentic doesn’t mean airing your dirty laundry right off the bat. That post or video you’re putting up might be the first time someone sees you, so connect by being human.


Solution: Be genuine.

When you speak or write to them, be yourself.

Don’t lie that you have it all together, but be sure you know what you’re talking about if a question comes at you. If it isn’t something you know, be honest.  

If you’re shooting videos, don’t read from a script. It sounds blotchy and unreal.

Just be yourself.

Don’t ‘Play it cool’ at first

It’s not as “cool” as you think.

I once got an email from a super small blog that was an autoresponder, saying that she was so busy that she probably won’t get to me but her assistant might be able to.

Yes, she might’ve had an assistant, but playing it off that you’re too busy for your readers probably isn’t the best route considering they’re the ones paying for your product or spiking your page views.  

Being responsive, vulnerable and kind right off the bat can go a long way.

I’d rather know that you went from $0 per month to 20 clients making $20,000 a month, then you always acting like you made it big right out of the gate. Show that struggle and the things you did to get there.

That doesn’t mean be over the top or eager either.

Just be yourself dude. You’ll attract the right people if you’re holding true to your driving forces, your ideals and values. Be you and the best will find you.


Solution: Be vulnerable.

Tell your story as it relates to your niche, but also be available for questions. Connect with your audience and answer their questions.

Check in and respond to comments. Reply to emails when they’re sent to you. Take an hour out of the week to respond to everyone you can and make that connection.


If they’re not into you, let them move on

Don’t try to hold on to someone who doesn’t want you.

That leads to frustration and heartbreak.

The same goes for your content.

Don’t try to connect with everyone because it won’t work. You’ll lose yourself.

If they don’t like your content, let them move on.

I was asked once, “How can we market to everyone?” I responded with, “You don’t want to market to everyone because then you market to no one.”

Create content for your audience and cater to them specifically. If you have people on your site who don’t fit and are getting up in arms about it, don’t worry about them.

They’re not your people anyway.

They’re not meant for you.


Solution: Don't hold on to everyone. Just focus on that one person.

For every piece of content you create, act as if you’re talking to one person in front of you. You’re telling them about this topic.

Hyperfocus on this one person you’re having a conversation with and what they want.

Set the stage for who you are and how you want to appear to the world, because then you’ll attract the right people.

If you swear, then swear.

If you like to throw online dance parties, do it.

Maybe you’re a video person, not a writer, so stick with that.

Anyone who can’t jive with you can move on.


It’s easy to lose ourselves and get overwhelmed with all the different ways people want to connect. I try to remember that I need to be myself, and the right people will find me.

All this comes down to being yourself and warming people up in a friendship. When you do that, you make genuine connections instead of seeing them as a sale.

This kind of relationship will help you grow and eventually they’ll buy from you.

Would you go into a relationship with a friend knowing that they just want to use you to boost themselves? No, probably not. So then don’t do that with your readers. Be genuine with them, and they’ll help you later on because of your awesome self.


How are you trying to build your audience right now? 

Tell me what is and isn't working for you!


Taylor DavisComment